THE ANSWER

I did a post not too long ago on a prayer that was answered for me and my family. I hope it didn't come across that I meant it like we've had that prayer answered and that's it. Goodness, we've had many, many, many prayers answered, some of which were not answered the selfish way I prayed for them to be answered. I was later able to see the fact that they weren't answered MY way WAS the answer! That takes me back to that Garth Brooks song, Unanswered Prayers. I'm not a big country music fan now but I loved it in the days of Garth, Reba, Alan Jackson, George Strait, Clint Black, John Michael Montgomery, etc.

It's so easy for me to go off on a tangent. :) Back to the matter at hand: In March 2008 I decided to take a job outside the home. I was a stay-at-home mom before then and thought I needed a job outside the home to feel validated I guess. We have four children, we run three businesses out of our home (one that we were able to start because I got my contractor's license), and I thought I needed something else - something that made me feel like I was contributing something to the family. Crazy, I know. But that's how I felt then. I took a job as a special ed aide at one of the high schools in our county. Being that we're self-employed, health insurance is not a cinch to obtain nor is it cheap. Working for the school system allowed us to have good, fairly inexpensive health insurance. More importantly to me, I was providing it. The year 2008 was a terrible year and one that I never, ever wish to re-live. But out of all the bad things that happened came a peace in my heart. A realization of the blessings in my life. It also led me to see that every morning I was getting up very early to get me and the three boys out of the house by 6:40 a.m., hurrying them to daycare so I could get to my job by 7:30 a.m., only to leave that job, hurrying to get them from daycare and home to take care of household chores, dinner, baths, and getting things ready for the next day to do all that all over again. I started to feel like I was spinning my wheels and life was just passing me by. Not to mention the fact that I felt like I was missing out on so much with my children. Grant is starting Kindergarten this year, and I wouldn't have been able to take him or pick him up from school. That was killing me. So was the thought of not being able to be involved with his class, field trips, etc. Bethany is cheering this year, and who knows if I would have been able to make her first game, or any of them for that matter. She's 3 hours away. Mac and Reid are babies. I'm going to blink my eyes and they'll be Bethany's age. It may sound silly and trivial to some, but those things have come to mean so much to me. And while I know there are many, many families who must rely on two incomes to survive especially these days, we don't right now. In our line of business that may change next month, but right now that's not the case. There will be sacrifices for sure, but ones I'm willing to make without a moment's hesitation. To make a very long story not quite as long, Chris and I discussed the pros and cons of my working and decided that if we could get insurance, affordable insurance, I would resign from my aide position. I have had some health issues in the past (nothing now, thankfully!) and was denied by one insurance company before I started at the school so I knew it wouldn't be as easy as filling out the application and getting approved. But I gave it all to God. I had to. It was bigger than I am. I felt so strongly about the fact that I needed to be more available to my family, I trusted the Lord to take care of it. Now those 30 or so days of waiting to find out if we were approved for the insurance were not without doubt. Every time I went to the mailbox I was waiting to get the "Sorry..." letter from them. But I overcame that doubt and truly and honestly prayed for the Lord's will in this situation. I went to the mailbox July 2 and saw an envelope from the insurance company. My heart dropped. I just knew it was THAT letter - oh me of little faith! Not so! It was our new insurance cards. I felt ecstatic, elated, thankful, emotional, not worthy, humbled, all of the above. What a blessing! I know it won't be easy. Unless you've been a stay-at-home mom it's hard to understand just how hard of a job it really is. I once heard someone say (and used to share in the sentiment) that motherhood is a thankless job. Only if you choose to see it that way. I choose to find thanks amidst the dirty diapers, potty training, toys all over the floor, and chocolate milk mustache kisses! I'm ready for this next chapter in our lives. PTL!